I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My feet surprised me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
