She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
