at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
