I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
