I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
