The maid of honor just puked.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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