Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
