If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
