My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Me too!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
