Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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