i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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