I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
