I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
