I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
