There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
