Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
