i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
