i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
