Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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