Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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