I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
