Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
