is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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