meet me or not, i'm out of control
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
