me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
