in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
