I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize