Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
