My room smells like vodka and shame
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
