The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
