I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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