What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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