some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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