I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
