Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
