Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
