my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she looked like the before picture.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
