hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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