Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need to sanitize my soul.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
