I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize