I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
