he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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