Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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