we made out on top of his cat.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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