do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
