saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
