I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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