He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
