Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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