Your tits are I can't wait for
your room smells of hookers.
And success
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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