the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
