Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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