Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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