shes about as inviting as chlamydia
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
